Not having a girl!

This blog was originally posted on Smile Sweetly and Nod

I have two adorable boys. I recently found out I was having a third. As we have decided this is the last pregnancy, a third boy came a bit of a shock. Even though I had tried to prepare myself for the likelihood of having three sons and what a blessing this was going to be, I still had to come to terms with the news I was never going to have a daughter.My mum is a feminist, some would say a product of becoming a woman during the 60’s and 70’s. My sister and I are therefore mini-feminists; we have soaked up her opinions, we’ve been brought up to believe, as women, we can do anything. But we also have become women in a different society, one where equality and political correctness have been breathing down people’s necks, one where people aren’t saying what they think, but saying what they think they think “should” say,In my childhood, my strongest family influences were all women, they were always more dominant; my grandmas, my aunties and my elder sister. Although I have often found myself forming easier rapports with men, when it comes to guidance, influence, idols and role models, I have always turned to women. I have formed many (unromantic) friendships with men, but they have never lasted, only ever been circumstantial, whereas the ones which last, the ones I work at, the ones where I have put the effort in have all been with other women. My favourite writers, musicians, actors and teachers have always been women.So, when I looked at my future self, I was always with daughters. I just expected to have them. So to accept that you won’t, that’s something that takes a while to say comfortably.

For me, it’s not about the frills, or the colour pink, or plaiting hair, or buying bras or planning weddings (for gods sake I can’t be arsed to plan my own)! It’s about something I wanted to pass on; a bond, a relationship, a sisterhood and a strength.

But with the ever-growing girl-worship in our society, maybe I was needed to raise boys; to re-establish the balance. Champion the underdog once more. The boy! The glorious, adorable, loud, boisterous, sensitive, intelligent, loving boy!


About francespringle

Feelance writer, Mum to three boys, self-confessed domestic slob
This entry was posted in Gender Diversity and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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